The Executive has called a meeting. All the Managers take their hard-bound Franklin-Covey diaries under their arms and, with dignified looks on their faces, walk together towards the Executive’s room in a professional manner.
The Executive is sitting on his chair. He is irritated. He has seen the latest numbers. Gesticulating his arms he explains his ideas, lists his priorities and listens to inputs from the subordinates. One of them is trying to reason with the Executive. The executive is sitting with one of his feet on his knee and practising active listening. The Executive rubs his fingers against his chin as he concentrates intently. The subordinate is trying to ‘be the solution’. But it’s not working. The Executive looks down while he massages his forehead with the tips of his fingers. He pops a de-stressing pill into his mouth and swallows it with oxidised Aqua Vitæ mineral water. The subordinates are frantically writing down action points in their diaries. One of them is minuting the meeting.
I sit opposite the Executive’s glass office in my little cubicle. I see the drama unfolding inside. I look to my right. My line manager is on the phone with an important stake-holder, holding his Cisco IP phone against his shoulder while using his hands to type an email and juggle priorities. He hangs up the phone. He breathes deeply – rapidly inhaling and exhaling – while typing up an email before going to his next meeting with a sense of purpose. I frown, open my journal and continue my daily treatise on life in the corporate world. I do this to stay sane.
One of my team mates comes up to me. She is wearing trousers, sandals, and one of those shirts for women. She says “hi, how are you?” I say “fine, how are you?” She says “fine”. Conversation ends.
I start pondering what I hate about this place the most: is it its dehumanised impersonalism, its hollow jargon or just the fact that every interaction is a hypercritical drama? Is it the fact that nothing this company does, nor its goals, does the least bit inspire me, or is it just the meaninglessness of it all? I think it’s probably the lack of inspiring ideological aims.
My line manager comes back with a smile on his face. His meeting went well. His 60-hour weeks have paid off. The Company has – through its alter ego in the form of its executives – expressed its pleasure with him. I close my journal, look at my work, and begin wondering whether there is any way of laying it off for tomorrow. I kill time. The time approaches 5.00 p.m.. I put my things into my bag. The time is exactly 5.00 p.m.. I get up and run!
I come in the next day, as late as I can without being shouted at. I spend an hour surfing the internet, killing time, complaining to my colleagues about my life. The girl from yesterday comes over. Today she’s also wearing trousers specifically designed to reveal the shape of her gluteus maximus, sandals and one of those corporate shirts for women. She smiles in that formal-professional way and says something about how wonderful the firm is. She is (i) naive, (ii) stupid, (iii) unaware that she is being exploited, and, worst of all, (iv) behaving in the way she thinks she is supposed to behave in a professional environment because she is a lemming and never questioned whether one should behave like that. I tell her politely that I am busy with my work. She goes back to her seat and continues demonstrating her commitment to the firm. I start rolling my rock up the hill.
An hour into the ordeal my boss calls me to his desk. He asks me about the work tracker, an excel sheet that tracks whether we have been working hard enough. Because he is frustrated with his life and angry that I left on time yesterday (instead of showing my commitment to the firm) he has found some inconsequential non-issue in the tracker to whine about. I tell him the truth: “Whether I fill it in as I have or as you now (and not previously) say I should it won’t matter a fig because it will give you the same information”. Exhibition of common sense gets him even more irritable. “Just do as I say”. “Yes your worshipfulness”, I think to myself, and go back to my desk to continue pushing my rock, taking regular intervals to stare out the window (I am very fortunate to actually sit close to one).
My boss takes me into a meeting room. He is unhappy that I have been leaving on time regularly for the past couple of days. What would happen if others started doing the same? Then the company would not get the maximum out of the fraction of its revenues it was mercifully throwing at us. We can’t have that. Therefore I shall henceforth be doing some extra work for some other team that has nothing to do with my job. He grins at his victory. Speechless, I ponder my course of action in response to his institutionalised assholeism. Should I refuse, pick up the chair and throw it at him with all my might, complain to higher management which will always take his side, throw my self out of the window (the office is on the 10th floor), or just go along with it? I get up and leave the room without a word. Shortly thereafter, fuming with anger and disgust, I tell him I don’t feel well, go home and let some other idiot push my rock for the day.
Based on a true story.
* * *
What’s the moral of the story? How does a traditionally-minded person react to a working culture like this? Personally, I resigned and am currently serving my notice period. I’ll be a free man by October. What should you do? Well, the basic options are:
1. Get a government job. Although the ideas underpinning modern states are far from shastric (or traditional), it is in my experience still much more inspiring to work in a government department where you serve the community and administer the powers of the state than to work for a profit-maximising venture.
An alternative to this is to re-qualify and work for a small, local, family-held firm. They are usually much less influenced by American corporate culture than the big ones are.
2. Start your own business. This requires a lot of focus and discipline, and is not something everyone can do. However, if you belong to the category of people who can pull it off, then this is the best option for you.
3. Live off government benefits. This can only be done in a so-called welfare state. Personally I would find it degrading, but I know some people who do it and spend their time on more meaningful activities than work. God bless them.
4. Endure until you have enough money to stop working, then become a full time revolutionary. Get the most high-paying job you can find. Don’t take jobs which are grossly unethical (such as working for a tobacco company or a fast-food chain). Work hard, but don’t work more than you have to. Pray for the ability to forgive your corporate bosses for the trauma they inflict upon you in the process.
Whichever option you go for take up traditional spirituality. I would suggest Krishna bhakti, or devotional service to Krishna. Chant the holy names daily. Read the scriptures. This will give you a sense of detachment from the world and increase your bull-shit tolerance levels.
The next step is to save up all your money, except such as you absolutely need to spend on life’s necessities. Don’t drink (even out of frustration), don’t eat meat, don’t buy unnecessary gadgets, live frugally. Invest your money, but be careful with stocks. You never know when the Wall Street bankers will intentionally or recklessly screw the system for their own gain as they did in 2008.
Once you have a large amount of money become a full-time revolutionary. Enjoy the fact that your life has meaning. Take power. Order the public execution of all corporate bosses and institute an agrarian society. Ban all international corporations. Rule supreme.



























